Why I don't like oral (giving and receiving)
Journal Entry | about 1 year ago
Aside from the obvious reason everyone seems not to understand when the topic is touched in a conversation: " I DON'T LIKE IT", I will hereby elaborate on such topic. Just cause.
First of all there is the hygienic reasons of "you don't know who that has been with", "that could be diseased", "that could be dirty/infected".
Then there is the not-true-for-everyone issue of smell and taste despite it being clean.
Another reason is why should I do it with someone I am not 100% sure of? I personally gave this privilege only to 3 men all of which I was in a serious relationship with and still I never enjoyed it, but at least I tried.
Then only one guy had me go down on him outside of a serious relationship and he regretted asking me because I have (this will make you laugh) a small mouth, so no matter how hard I tried my teeth were touching his sensitive part too much and he didn't enjoy it, but again, at least I tried and for the last time I can finally say I DON'T LIKE IT (but given another serious long lasting relationship I would try again, just for love).
On the receiving end only one guy (virgin nonetheless) gave me full pleasure. He found the way and went at it and that was what he was good at, sadly we didn't have any possibility at working together but we had a good time.
So when someone says to me they want to give me oral I can't but say: It's ok, I wouldn't ask it as it doesn't really do much for me but if you must...
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The day I loved oral
Journal Entry | about 1 month ago
I have never been a fan of oral. I only did it with my serious relationships and always to make them happy and show them I was trying because I cared.
I never liked the smell, the taste and the act. I found it repulsive.
One of my partners made it even more so the only two times I did it to him by immediately treating me in a horrible way after I did it.
With my ex husband I puked up after I did it to him.
I was always told I was good but I could never enjoy it.
Things changed a first time with my first dom.
I wanted to show him I cared. I wanted to please him. I liked his smell, it was not repulsive. I wanted to taste him and it didn't taste bad. For the first time I felt it was right. It felt good to be able to not feel revolted but happy for doing it.
He couldn't be mine for long and I couldn't be his either. But we loved each other very deeply and parted way with that knowledge it was something great.
Later on I got a boyfriend, he was vanilla but willing to try kink. I waited for my affection to turn into love.
I tried oral with him and it was disgusting.
He tried to dom me and it was a disaster.
He wasn't ever going to be a dom.
I never fell in love.
I left him after three months together when I realised I hadn't fallen in love
Months passed and I found a second dom. Much too young and inexperienced yet with such a natural talent he got me at his feet within days. I got totally addicted to his scent, smitten and head over heels I fell in love with him. He said he did too. I believed him. I submitted with every inch of my being. I tried oral with him a first time and liked it. Much like with my first Dom everything was right.
Then I tried a second time. I took his manhood in my mouth eagerly, with my heart full of love, with my soul full of joy. I loved every second of it and so did he. When he came it was different, for the first and only time in my life I thought it was delicious. Creamy like condensed milk. Sweet like I would imagine the essence of love to be. That was the last time I gave oral to a man, a man I loved so intensely after my first Dom that when he vanished from my life I felt shattered.
I told him I never gave anything to non serious partners and I wouldn't be like that with any other man unless I got serious again and I won't stray from my words.
All I am left with now is memories. Bittersweet memories of every lost love, every crush of my heart and every high of my soul. At least I know now that once in my life I really truly loved oral.
