The biggest punishment

Torturous silence that envelopes my thoughts and clings at me like barbed wire, scratching my soul. I have shown how stubborn and impatient I can be, raised my fur in a tantrumy look and I got punished with silence. All seems lost and dead in silence. While everything was joy in the happy exchange. Wondering if I actually deserve this punishment. Wondering if I was wrong in my tail-waggling joy in the first place.

Being a mom means

-Roibois tea and cookies at quarter to one am because you forgot to eat at dinner time...
-Feeling all that pain in the back that comes from lifting those heavy little pestifer bundles of joy.
-Having to put leftovers away and hope they get eaten the next day
-Trying to remember if the strength to fold that massive pile of kids clothes is given to you by eating, sleeping or the both combined and realizing if you need both you're screwed because one is almost always missing. So the pile grows.
-Feeling dizzy often because of overdoing while feeling overall you haven't done enough because the house is still too messy for your likings.
-Feeling Tired, often
-Forgetting things, often
-Having looots of things to think of and remember
-Feeling tired, often
-Scrubbing every surface they soil with a scourer, vinegar and baking soda and then clean it again to get it off
-Washing the carpets more than you expected because they keep ignoring the no food in the livingroom policy inevitably making a mess while you don't watch for 5 minutes
-Sweeping and hoovering and sweeping and cleaning, picking up everything
-Trying to keep your cool when inside you are raging about all the disasters they make while you are solving one of them
-Running from one room to the other because all of a sudden it's too quiet and you know they are up to no good
-Forgetting the meaning of the words relax, sit down, in peace
-Forgetting what it means to have a warm meal, eaten slowly, savoured from the first to the last bit
-Hiding things higher and higher or cover every cupboard in locks
-Take away the chairs so they can't use them to climb
-Lock the bathroom so they can't play with the toilet brush and toilet rolls
-Scold, repeat
-Watching them sleep because they are so cute
-Lift them even if they break your back for how heavy they are
-Play with them even if you feel like sleeping
-Getting blown on your belly, have your nose pinched and tiny fingers pushed in your mouth to experiment what it's like
-Receive unexpected cuddles and kisses
-Looking at them when they smile or sleep and feeling your heart melt with love

The words I like, the world I live in part 2

I have seen a few posts of people writing on here and lots of them containing the words "slut" or "bitch" if not, even more horrible, "whore". Now for as much as I can understand that, some "dirty" words like that can be seen as "exciting and kinky" I just can't see past the insult. I can't stand these words because they are demeaning. And I am not one of those hypocrites that thinks porn is demeaning. Some maybe, but most porn is there for one purpose and it should be seen as such, not as real life lessons. Far too many young men watch porn thinking that what they see in it is what they will get in real life, so no wonder they get astonished and sometimes even upset over things that women like me don't like to do. And they have no clue how to please a woman and fully enjoy the multifaceted thing that is good sex. Some of them just have no idea what foreplay is, let alone how to do it, and how to get a 360° experience involving all senses. A lot of them ignore the kissing, some thinking it should be reserved only for the women they love, not lust for, while it's so important for a much better sexual experience. -“There’s evidence that men like sloppier kisses with a more open mouth. That suggests that they are unconsciously attempting to transfer testosterone to trigger the sex drive to woman.” Now this is not true for most Scotsmen that I kissed. Very few gave me the pleasure of a proper kiss, most keeping their mouth too closed, like if opening it would make them vulnerable. Although my sexual partners have been quite limited because I am very fussy and choosy, I have kissed more than I slept with, the old saying being: a princess has to kiss a lot of frogs...

Always for no apparent reason

Arranging to meet up to have sex and seeing your confirmation messages ignored. When it seemed everything was fine, when the first date had gone really well and you had seemed compatible and hot for each other, ready for more fun, promises of kinky, rough yet sweet sex. Then nothing. It's happened to me several times in the past and each time I wondered if I did something wrong or said something more than I should have, tortured myself re-reading messages trying to read them from a male's perspective and finding nothing bad. All about either general stuff when asked and sex, nothing more, no accidental uncomfortable feelings involved. Then why? The proverbial "he's not that into you" comes to mind. But this is sex we are talking about, not more. So why? Why disappear without a reason, any reason instead of having lots of fun together? I hope this doesn't happen to me again. Plain upsetting. Mood killing. Frustrating. For someone like me with such a big appetite and noone to satisfy it at least once a week, let alone every day I am in the mood, it's sheer torture to get teased and promised sex and then disappear. And I am not a fan of this kind of torture. This is the kind that gets me frustrated and angry. I'm a very understanding person, give me a good reason for not wanting me and I won't bat an eyelid, but with no reason...

The words I like, the world I live in

I went to school in one of those expensive private catholic nun's schools and as it's natural I got influenced by the teachings I received there, as well of course as what I got taught by my parents. My hatred for leopard print, stiletto heels and thongs probably stems from there. My education made me somewhat of reluctant to address people that can't use grammar, spelling and prefer text speech, however my intelligence overcomes this by showing me those are not really extremely important things in life, not as important to me as, say, the way one talks/writes. Rudeness is something I can't stand so words that sound rude are usually a turn off for me. Anyone can say fuck, tits, pussy, cock, dick, cum but only a few people can use the alternative words "take you", "do you", breasts, chest, womanhood, wetness, manhood, hardness, member etc.and make the play so much better just like that. To be continued.